Did I ?

Posted by Zave | Posted in | Posted on 02:35

0

a page from his diary,

A distant whistle,
A reflection of what it was,
Carefree and reckless,
Living as it was given,
Take it with both hands,
And never question why?

I believed it would last an eternity,
Till I would be alive.

I believed it would always be,
Just the way it was.

I believed, yes I swear I did.

Failures ?

Posted by Zave | Posted in | Posted on 02:03

0

a page from his diary,

Just a little drunk,
That is all I am right now.

The brain refuses to budge,
The tequila has failed yet again.

The smokes send their regards,
They can't help me, no more.

Friends just make another excuse,
Look at me with narrowed eyes.

"You are drowning too deep,
We can't reach you there".

They all say the same,
What they haven't in a while!

Times change

Posted by Zave | Posted in | Posted on 03:33

4

a page from his diary,

There was a time,
When I used to enjoy this,
Being all alone in a room,
Doing nothing but dream,
Dream things which were never possible.

There was a time,
When I used to love the company,
Being with all and simply enjoy,
The present and the ridiculous past,
Never thinking twice.

There was a time,
When I was all alone,
And yet there was a voice,
Which kept urging me to go on,
Till the end of time.

There was a time,
When I made this life,
As I wanted it to be,
Struggling and stammering through,
To something I had never seen.

And there is now,
The me,
Any guesses what it could be?

Please don't!

He lives

Posted by Zave | Posted in | Posted on 04:14

0

a page from his diary,

Seldom is this life as you picture it to be,
Often it is just like another game we play,
Winning and losing, betting and battling,
Stopping and turning, figuring out the bluff.

You take up the days and make it worthy,
You live a single night and you realize,
This is all just nothing, just another sham,
And yet you live on, wanting to believe.

But there is always a limit to the wait,
An end to every road you take up,
A day when you can't take it anymore,
A moment when you give it up for good.

"So what, if I gave up just yesterday?
If I had no courage to go on anymore?
If I wanted the misery to end now, today?
If I only wished and those never came true?"

"I live on, don't I, just like you, unlike you,
Instead of dropping down motionless and dead,
Carrying on for the sake of things you don't know,
Knowing what is mine and what can never be"!

"Lets take a moment at a time", they used to say,
"Make the present count, make your presence felt,
Don't cry over the spilled milk over and over again,
It'll be washed away and gone tomorrow anyway"!

incomplete, someday?

Posted by Zave | Posted in | Posted on 01:43

2

a page from his diary,

You might be smiling when someones leaving,
Knowing she would never be coming back,
Laughing at your idiocracy or your damn luck,
And wishing "I'll pull through no matter what".

Every damn thing is shattered to pieces,
Hopes, lives and every dream that mattered,
But you think you'll still make it through,
"Let her go", I'll find a way out anyway.

And just like that you forgot it all,
And never even mentioned in your life,
And lived happily ever after since then,
Are we to really believe all that you say?


Do I wait or leave?

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 00:25

4

Damn girl you take my heart away,
With those silly words and your surprises.
As if I can relive those moments,
The bitter-sweet reminiscence of the past.

The little walks, those long distances,
The unending wait for hours at end,
And I guess I am still in the wait mode,
Somewhere I always used be back then!

And that makes me feel I am back,
Back to being entirely myself a little more,
Thinking and contemplating the outcomes,
Still confused inside-out, right to the core.

Yet here I am in this irritating world,
Trying to work it out, trying hard to fit,
Dragging and pulling myself together,
Part by part, bit by bit.

And here she comes, crushing my hopes,
Stunning me with her smile and off she goes,
At times like the biting cold frost of the winter,
Other as soothing as the winds from the shores.

"I am not going anywhere,
Sorry for being such a fool", I say,
Wishing and yearning for the impossible,
That she would, just like old times, "stay"!

But I smile, I look at the long road ahead,
And pick up the only backpack I've got,
"Did I really change this much?", I think,
"Hell yeah I did, a very long time back"!
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