Smoking love

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 18:47

I pulled out a love stick from the pack,
Somehow I chose you out of the huge lot,
And never saw that they all were the same,
Thinking, "this is what my fate has all got".

I placed you recklessly between my schedule,
As someone pulled out a light and lit it for me,
And I ignorantly took it all into my barren life,
'Cause it was thrill that was offered by thee.

I had just took in the very first few sips of you,
And I was already under an illusion too smoky,
I held you and your presence seemed to be forever,
'Cause you were the only one I saw close to me.

I enjoyed every insignificant moment with you,
And didn't ever care to see the red burning you,
Losing, tiring and turning into ashes almost instantly,
I never knew the moments were reducing to a few.

You burned at a distance, so that I couldn't feel you,
And all I received was your incessant love and care,
I cared for you too, but it never crossed my mind,
That you burning and falling all alone is not quite fair.

All I felt was a bitter and sour taste in my mouth,
'Cause nothing could ever remain the same perfect,
And while you were nearly the same burning insane,
I had begun noticing the small non-existent defect.

Or might be I was mindful of the love drawing close,
'Cause soon no fun was to be drawn out of this,
And even as I was someday so sure this was it,
I was starting to be mindful of the things I did miss.

Like the tempting love pack kept just by my side,
Suddenly it was all I had in my deceitful mind,
But I had the courtesy to wait till this was over,
When I would be sure you were kept far behind.

And as I sucked up the smoke of love too hard,
I didn't notice you were burning even more red,
Still trying to please me and cover my mistakes,
But I already had planned something in my head.

The flame was dying, 'cause I could feel its heat,
Accounting for all the smoke balls I was ever fed,
And while I did put you in the ash tray to never let go,
Your light and smoke vanished like you were so dead.

Then I looked at the unexplored pack of possibilities,
Something I was forced to ignore while in your love,
And with you dead and flamed off, I thought anew,
"Lets relive the fun and get over with the old love".

And as the rest started to tempt me a bit too much,
I really thought it was time to move on to what I get,
And according to me, try something a little different,
Even as it was the same freaking mortal cigarette!

P.S. - One fine day while I was smoking, this analogy between love and cigarette came to my mind, and somehow it does fit, at least in some cases.

Comments (14)


the start was little interesting but later it turned out to be confusing one.I failed to differ the lines of love with those of the smoke.Knowing you I feel the post could have been more better, (again ignore my suggestions if you think otherwise.)
Still,it takes a great deal to write something long like this and that too a poem, I appreciate your efforts for that. :)

I liked the poem. :)

....oh god dis is so good ..."the best"...even though I hate cigarette n tht smoking thing...ur analogy is just awesom..!!!...keep it up..;)

A brilliant poem, buddy. The analogy is extremely well brought out. :D

The analogy,
I just felt like reading the poem over and over and believe me I've read it thrice already! :D
You are so good! :D

Excellent poem... its interesting...

Thanks for the critisism. I'll definitely try to write something that would be more apt for me.
And don't worry, any comment, positive or negative is always on my mind.

Mr. Pramathesh,
Thank you.

That good?
Well, I'm flattered!

You would know this very well, how much I tried to connect.

I'm glad you had the patience to read it so many times.
Hope to give you something even better next time.

Enterprise Mobility Management,
Thank you.

dude .........dats y i can't ignore ur poems.....dis is fantastic....i ws jst a lil confused, do u really talking abt dat mortal cigarette only or u were writing in d sense dat m thinking ryt nw ;)(u knw wad i mean)

bt seriously dis is an awesum stuff....

Well, that is the best compliment I've got in a long time.
And you are thinking correct, I get what you mean, and I meant the same actually.

That was really one of the most interesting post I have read lately. I must say you write amazingly well. Enjoyed my visit here :)

Btw, hope you would enjoy reading my post - When love calls

Keep writing :)

Romeo Das,
Thank you.
Hope to catch up with your write up as well.

Post a Comment

I've written what I could,
Its time you write what you want,

Related Posts with Thumbnails