Craving for drugs

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 11:02

I thought I had beaten it after all!
How foolish I was to dream of a win,
To believe the disease was eradicated,
To imagine myself free from its clutches!

But I didn't realize until now,
I've been defeated so bad,
I've been pushed to a place,
From where there is no return!

As my friend had called it once,
Love, a drug in our lives, in us!
And I've been addicted real bad,
And sadly I can't find alternatives to it!

I'm searching for the drug back in me,
But knowing that could never happen,
I'm turning into a worse being,
An addict, a serious drug addict!

But my hands can't stretch too long,
And I know I've to be satisfied with little,
Fighting my self conscience every moment,
Trying to reason out or run away from me!

I've turned to the smokes, no big deal?
Well, not really, I don't think so,
But then its not it, the end is not here,
I crave for more, to remain in a trance!

I can't live like this, can't be simply living,
I need something, in the absence of someone,
And while I have nothing left within me,
Intuitively I turn to drinking, to turn to love!

I don't let myself go back to where I was,
I at least can't do it consciously myself,
So why remain in my senses when all I get is hurt?
Better be out of my mind, no mind – no hurts!

And I remain happy, smiling and thinking,
Of the times I should and the ones I shouldn't,
I've come past caring about my broken dreams,
I just want to hang on tightly to my memories!

And I can't give them away to anyone, none,
Not so easily, 'cause they are my own, my very own!
'Cause somewhere deep down I still live that life,
Even when I show I don't even bother to think that way!

But even as I crave for more of the memories frantically,
I suddenly realize all of it is fake, an outright lie now,
So why not turn to the one that is definitely for real,
And I crave for drugs, welcoming them to my life!

P.S. - Was that "me", me? I hope not!

Comments (2)

You know, i read this recently. Thinking about lost love gives you the same addictive feeling that cocaine does. Affects the body in a similar way.
Nice poem, mate. Hope these thoughts are driven away, though.
Reminded me of something I had written earlier once.
Drug Addict

Yes, I think I had read or at least I had heard something similar.
The one you wrote was a nice one too!
Hoping to get better at restraining myself at least!

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