Describing hurt

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 02:42


Walls,
Red walls,
Breathing red walls.

Nail,
Sharp nail,
Long sharp nail.

Crack,
Crack in the wall,
Crack due to the nail.

Pipe,
Weak pipe,
Short weak pipe.

Passage,
Dark passage,
Long dark passage.

Choked,
Pipe choked,
Pipe choked in the passage.

Mind,
Tired mind,
Lonely tired mind.

Heart,
Beating heart,
Slow beating heart.

Walk,
Mind goes for a walk,
Heart remains where it was.

Comments (18)

Interesting.
I like the way you've described the numbness of feelings in the last verse.

Hmmm...Nice!!! I liked it! :)

Very nice way of describing the feeling! :))

Hmmm..btw, just saw your comment on my blog, thanks for visiting!: )

Im following you now! :))

@D2-
Thanks mate.
I wanted to write more, but time ran out and I cooled down!
Sad, isn't it?

@Sonshu-
I'm glad you liked it.
And you are an amazing writer.
Loved your verses.
:)

very nicely described the hurt

@Deepak-
Thank you for the appreciation.

Aw, thanks!!: ) You write beautifully your self! :)

hi zave... i m following u blog from last few days as i m a new blogger n u r a good inspirer and a very good poet no doubt. I dont know whehter u visited my blog again or not so cm here to say u thanks again and thanks a lot again for I have found some very nice gadgets n links from ur blog to add in mine.
And this 'Discribing Heart' i found very interesting with very light words n thoughtful.
thanks fot such nice thoughts too that u give us through ur blog.

Nisha,
A big thank you for those words of praise. Though I believe I'm not that praise worthy, yet, I'm glad I could be of little help.
And thanks for the appreciation.
I wish to continue writing such verses.
And I hope I'll see you around.
Keep blogging.

well, again a beauty buddy.....u alwaz describe things tremendously.......

Very well written, lovely blog :)

@The Aspirant-
I try to scribble feelings best understood by me. I just hope it was a bit better.
To say the truth I wasn't exactly satisfied with this composition.

@Marinela-
Thank you so much for the appreciation.

Nice poem. I am following you.....

@Anu Lal-
Thank you. I hope you won't be disappointed with my future works as well.
Keep visiting.

intense... more close to my taste in literature :)

@Chaya-
Thank you.
I can still relive the pain when ever read the verses, so I don't!

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I've written what I could,
Its time you write what you want,

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