I and you

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 19:38


I cried,
And you planted a kiss!
I thought,
And you put that to action!
I spoke,
And you amazingly admired!
I said,
And you always believed!
I called,
And you came running!
I looked,
And you kept blushing!
I talked,
And you still kept talking!
I trusted,
And you never broke it!
I moaned,
And you always knew it!
I debated,
And you never listened!
I ordered,
And you never defied!
I hurt,
And you simply cried!
I forced,
And you never did oppose!
I kissed,
And you moved away in fun!
I touched,
And you giggled in delight!
I tickled,
And you held my hand too tight!
I wrote,
And you kept talking about the write!

I left,
And still you did not let go!
I loved,
And you too let the love flow!

The exams' knock

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 13:52


Knock, knock!
"I'm here again"!
An outburst of cries,
"Brace the door",
"Check the lock",
"Set up a table",
"Call for some help",
And pandemonium,
Rushing and cursing,
"We can't stop it,
Now can we"?
Was the only wise word!

"Could you come back later"?
A question all wanted to ask,
"No, its time, just about time,
Your good luck has run out time,
I'll wait no more, no more",
Ended with a rare horrifying laughter.

"What shall we do?
We are not even there",
"I don't know a thing",
"Count me in too",
"I'm blank, totally,
Like an empty board",
Confessed all!
"I know a little of it",
And all looked at him,
Like he was guilty,
Of a brutal murder,
Indeed, of friends' trust,
As someone put it right,
"You ought to be like us"!

Everyone looked up in horror,
Indeed it was almost time,
A twisted stare at the clock,
And all hung their heads down,
As someone went on,
The brave out of the lot,
Putting it this way,
"But we can't ignore,
Can we really do that"?
To open up the gates,
The door to misery,
And a road to death,
Imminent painful death!

One stare at the stranger,
And all dispersed,
Run where ever they could,
In ignorant belief,
It could be escaped,
Hiding in the shadows,
Of dusty unvisited corners,
Of the paper and notes' pillars!

And since then we are still,
Living and breathing,
Scampering like slaves,
Working under its order,
In hope that we be spared,
From its wrath and rage.

Pondering on,
"Why on earth does it exist?
Does it want us dead?
When will this end?
When will I never face it again?"
Answers to which are quiet,

P.S. - A lot many days to suffer yet.

The deathly knock

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 13:29


Knock knock!
He stared in deathly horror,
At the closed door behind him,
"No, this can't be it, not now,
I'm not letting you go".
He clung to her fading body,
Lying on the unmoving bed,
With her eyes drooping down,
Her life sinking into the dark waters,
Of the ever flowing life's stream.

Knock knock!
He ignored the wooden chatter,
Gazing at her closed eyes,
With tear filled eyes,
Caressing her forehead,
Withered and spotty,
Wrinkled with the tensions,
Fought valiantly all these years,
Alone, single handed,
But with a reassuring smile.

Knock knock!
He went closer to her,
Clutched her hands into his,
And prayed, she be just fine,
If only they could be answered,
And wished had he been here,
Days before like she wanted,
If only he had known this,
That he had so little time,
So few moments with her.

Knock knock!
He couldn't even hear the call,
Floating back to his past,
He stood alone watching him,
Fighting to write a word,
He saw her holding his hand,
Learning to ride a bicycle,
He saw her marking his path,
Winning the best student's award,
He saw her hugging him in pride.

Knock knock!
The stranger did not lose hope.
Knock knock!
He banged again once more.
Knock knock!
Impatience clearly he could feel.
Knock knock!
Seemed to break his fists on the door.
Knock knock!
The noise could be taken no more.

The banging on the door increased,
And suddenly in a moment fell dead,
He turned around to secure the door,
But the door was locked quiet safe,
The lightening of realization crashed,
Trembling in his fears and tears,
He got closer to her beating heart,
But where had the beat gone?
He frantically searched for her pulse,
All was, but a failure at the end!

And he hug her cold body tight,
Still in the hope that she rise back,
And scold him for being in tears,
Still in the hope to see her eyes,
Looking at him with the love she had,
Still in the hope she pat on his back,
Saying "Good you got a promotion",
Still in the hope she caress his hair,
And put him back to deep sleep,
But her hands didn't even move.

He then heard the retreating steps,
Just outside the locked door,
Two set of steps they seemed,
One unknown and ghostly,
The other made him spring up,
In unseen horror and in utter delight,
He ran to unlock the wooden flaps,
And as he came out in the open,
He did hear her steps again,
Fading slowly in the murky light!

I miss her - Day three and a half

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 19:17


Some things are lucky,
Aren't they?
Seems my cooler too!
I got it fixed,
The red hot air,
Turned to cool blue,
And now I rejoice,
'Cause my yesterday's dream,
It came true!
All I got was a call,
And I was gone.
First up I was stuck,
There was just silence,
I was still in a trance,
And I couldn't believe,
Finally over?
How could that be?
Waiting is fun,
Though not always,
And as I yearned the voice,
I still believe,
It was worth it,
But now all is back,
Back to me,
And back to normal,
Once more,
All the smiles,
Just too big,
All the joys,
Just too huge,
And about that love,
Its as I say,

P.S. - She is back, and totally fine. And I suppose I can end this series here itself.

I miss her - Day three

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , , , | Posted on 01:00


The volume was turned to zero!
How on earth could I hear?
Once, twice, thrice,
That never hit me.
And finally when it did,
All I heard was,
"I'm with dad",
And then a beep!
I had my chances,
Which I couldn't seize.
Hate me for that,
Probably regretting!
I enjoyed,
The farewell,
Yes I did,
But not as much,
Not to dance my way.
I got stung,
An ignorant,
Irritated bee,
I felt the pain,
But not as much,
Not to be bothered.
And now as I scribble,
All this nonsense,
I feel myriad emotions,
Nothing as compared,
To my few joys,
Or my little ache.
Nothing without you,
Just be back,
Back to me,
My reality,
The winner,
Of my dreams,

P.S. - The verses talk of my day, as for her, I'm still in the dark.

I miss her - Day two

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , , , | Posted on 00:18


Yes I had heard her,
I know I've had my moments,
But this silent night is killing me!
"Habits die hard".
But why should I let it die,
When its not a habit at all?
Its a desire,
An eternal need of me,
To stay in peace,
At mind and the heart.
And its absence,
Makes me yearn for it,
More and more,
Like a drug addict,
Searching frantically,
For some repose!
And then it,
Leaves me frustrated,
Makes me sick,
Brings my cards' house,
Of voices and care,
Crashing down,
Blown into dust,
And its bits and pieces,
Flying in oblivion.
I can neither touch it,
Nor visualize it,
Just a feeling,
That somewhere,
At some corner,
Of this world,
She exists,
Yes, for me,
Just for me,
She does!

P.S. - I heard her for 10 minutes today, and from then on still dreaming about it. She is still not well actually.

I miss her - Day one

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , , , | Posted on 01:40


Its simple,
I'm missing her.
I waited,
And waited.
As night comes knocking,
I still wait.
I can feel the heat,
I never felt before,
And perspire in it.
I can feel a weight,
Growing on me,
Crushing me.
I could smell a burn,
Not knowing its source.
A special void,
A small one within,
My heart I guess,
An emptiness,
Waiting to be filled.
Sitting idle,
As usual,
But I don't want this,
This staring,
At my laptop,
With an illusion of distance,
I can't fathom,
Its meaning,
Its significance.
I'm worried.
I'm content.
I'm hungry.
I'm thirsty.
I'm tempted,
To call her.
And yet I don't,
All I do is,
I keep waiting!

P.S. - Its the first day since many days when I didn't hear her for a day or have no news of her, knowing that she is ill I'm a hell lot worried.

She is, but a star

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 16:14


She waves at me,
As she exists the stage,
I respond in delight!
But fans crowd her,
I just smile,
In pride,
'Cause she is mine,
'Cause she is, but a Star!

I gaze at her,
Slowing disappearing,
From my vision's horizon,
I hop on my feet,
Just to get a glance of her,
But not to be,
I smile at her status,
'Cause she is, but a Star!

How long it took,
I didn't keep track of the time,
But just waited,
Looking at the hands,
Of the ticking clock,
Sitting on a battered bench,
Opposite to the stage,
Right across the road,
Next to my age old car,
My first Maruti 800,
Of which she says,
"I love it,
'Cause its your".
I smile back,
In my pride to have her!
And now I look down,
Down upon the same car,
Next to me in white,
Thinking she might have,
Said those just like that,
'Cause she is, but a Star!

I stroll a little,
Think a bit,
But smile not an inch.
Still waiting,
Just for her, my star,
My one and only love!
I let out a gasp,
"Ah, there she is,
She looks stunning,
Doesn't she?"
I smile to myself!
And even as she is just,
Just about to break the queue,
And come running to me,
Someone pulls her back,
Quiet possible,
'Cause she is, but a Star!

An hour goes,
And the next as well,
I keep the keys,
In the car and walk,
Walk away from it,
Walk away from her,
"She looked this way?
And turned away?"
No can't be, my bad!
And yet I walk,
With a heavy heart,
With tears in my eyes,
She couldn't even look at me,
She didn't even know,
Even when I was long gone,
Miles away from her reach,
Might be 'cause she is like this,
I'm taken for granted,
Or might be ignored,
And she can, always,
'Cause she is,
'Cause she is, a but Star!

The stary nights,
Those dancing lights,
They seem to mean all,
Her world, her life,
Her present and future,
And the silly past,
Its worth forgetting,
When it has me in it,
Lots more men to come,
Lots more love to gather,
Lots more lives to live,
And she'll excel in that,
And I'm sure she will,
'Cause she is my love,
'Cause she is, but a Star!

I wish

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 19:18


I wish I could take it all away,
The pain that engulfs you now,
Biting you every second,
Spitting fire on you,
Burning my little girl,
Your big eyes,
Your buttery lips,
Your cute face,
Your pulpy hands,
Your fair legs,
In a word, You!

I wish I could touch you,
And soak up all,
All the heat off you,
And make them my own!

I wish I could hold you,
Take you in my arms,
Not letting your feet,
Even touch the earth!

I wish I could live on behalf of you,
Run to classes for the attendance,
And gather random stupid notes,
Which I can manage the best!

I wish I could be with you,
Act as a guardian to you,
Command you to rest,
And get some peaceful sleep!

I wish I could kiss you,
And whisper to you,
In oblivion,
Of how much I love you,
Of how much this heart cries,
Every time I hear you speak,
Every time I feel helpless,
Sitting miles away from you,
And doing nothing but studying,
For a better future ahead,
When my present is in pain!

I wish I was dead,
And was a soul,
Which could fly,
And just be with you,
I just want to be with you,
Some how, any how!


on this day

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 00:03


i confess, since i Saw the girl you are,
i've been Ecstatic to have got you,
who gave Voice to my verses,
Enriched them with the beauty,
None can ever hope to match,
a Testimony that i'm worth the love,
and not solely alive for Hate!

i proclaim you have an amazing Attitude,
and a Personality quiet unique,
and although i failed to Recognize you,
Importantly i corrected myself early,
and made you mine for the Lifetime!

it doesn't matter if you are the Object or soul,
your Understanding is all i crave to have,
Relishing every day spent in memory of you!

i promise to be by your side Always,
and keep the little Naughtiness alive,
Nurturing this love of ours,
trying to Initiate most of the things i can,
adding Versatility to our moments together,
Expressing all our happiness and joys,
even the painful Regrets and the hurts,
fighting every drop of Sadness,
not with the deathly Arrogance,
but with Respect for each other,
and all possible 'cause its You, my love!

P.S. - This is dedicated to Lily and if still not very clear, its our first anniversary today on 7th April, 2010.

My days at my school

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 15:01


The long walks in the sunny morn,
Be it in the winter or in the bloody the rain,
Never did I regret my steps to school,
'Cause they never went in vain!

The smell of the dew covered field,
And the soft light pouring through,
Makes me recall the good morning with P.K.,
'Cause they were not very few!

The busyness of the streets to school,
And the look of my fellow student,
Is something I still remember,
Etched into my small memory without dent!

I miss the race to come last to the assembly,
And be invisible when you are at fault,
Digging out deadly excuses to confront teachers,
From our unused mind's majestic vault!

The nonsense chatters on the field,
And the heavenly feeling inside,
I still miss those theists days,
Wondering where does God now reside?

Waiting for the periods to get over,
And a constant watch at the clock,
'Cause I neither could recite Bengali poems,
Nor wanted the world history to unlock!

And yet I wish I had a second life,
Not for the love of the English I read,
But for the whispering chats we had,
Till the teacher caught us and we were dead!

The sitting arrangements for exams,
I still miss its pleasant surprise,
Seldom a beautiful girl to sit with,
And often unlucky to be with an idiotic wise!

And if that concerned me even a bit,
What mattered more were the marks,
'Cause when they were dubiously low,
Parents' signature was a herculean task!

Those mid-day breaks and its hunger,
And the numerous games we played,
Brought in more fun and joy,
'Cause of unique rules that we laid!

And then the sweat was all we had,
Pride of the winner and the shame of the lost,
As we ran for the water instead to the class,
Not thinking what that could possibly cost!

The celebrations of the parents night,
And the march past of the republic day,
Still makes me run back to my school,
To relive those moments just for a day!

The dances and shows that I enjoyed,
And yet never tried my way into it,
Make me wish had I tasted it too,
I wouldn't have to regret even that bit!

Those meaningful laughs that we had,
Now make no sense at all,
And yet at the end when I left the school,
They were the ones that used to call!

Those crushes which I did have,
That none but I ever knew,
Still make me smile at my stupidity,
Repenting, "How utterly foolish of you"!

Friendship grew and still keeps growing,
Friends lost, but that was a time I spend,
Even when I saw promises break,
I made promises and kept them till the end!

And even though I had moments,
When I was broken like hell,
The school itself was never at fault,
It was always me who wasn't well!

And even as I look to the future ahead,
Whenever I'm asked about the best time of my life,
I unabashedly chatter about my days at Loyola School,
Boasting of its greatness without strife!
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