New, is it?

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , | Posted on 14:35

10

A dream I see,
Wrapped in a cloud of gloom,
Under a shadow of disaster,
Through a mist of falsehood,
Gleaming at a walking distance,
Waiting to be acknowledged,
And turned into reality.

A hope I feel,
With a biting hint of disappointment,
Mixed with a sense of pessimism,
Even in the numbness of the silence,
Trapped by the eyes of the sixth sense,
Waiting to be deciphered,
And embraced by the mind.

A wish I make,
Amidst a flurry of failures,
In spite of the world's discouragement,
Braving the myriad scars of betrayal,
Believing in a better tomorrow,
Waiting to be welcomed,
And come strangely true.

A life anew,
With dreams turning to reality,
Hopes embraced by the mind,
And wishes coming true,
Lies ahead of me,
Waiting to be accepted,
And be entirely mine.

And if not,
It can always be here,
Being a part of my verses,
Unheard and unread poetry.

P.S. - Happy New Year to all. Enjoy!

Yet another act concludes

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 02:03

12


I look around,
I find myself alone,
Lonely and deserted,
Alone on the stage,
"Where did they go?"
I wonder.

Someone pulls the strings,
The curtains begin to drop,
For once I think of resisting,
I ask, "what happened?
Why am I alone again?"
My voice echoes around,
And eventually dies out.

I know,
None would answer,
Not even a whispering reply.

I stand there,
Waiting the inevitable death.
Its the close of a chapter,
The end of the play.

I can't be seen here,
Not anymore.

I step down the back stage,
Walk away and look back,
I see the lights flicker.

In case someone walks by,
I never switched them off,
Just in a hope,
In a wild, foolish hope...

P.S. - Its good to be back to writing again.

The list

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 02:15

8


A half metalic heart hanging by a rusty chain,
Kept safe from the eyes fo the world,
In the deep corner of the black leather bag,
Touched once in a while or never at all.

A dust covered pen stand lying on the table,
Long unused, housing the webs of memories,
Sandwhiched between the now useless books,
Read and never to be read again in future.

A coffee mug with words of love on it,
Supposed to be the first to be ever held,
Now eagerly awaits its ultimate fate,
To be broken to pieces or simply kept away.

A nearly empty diary with just an introduction,
Remains empty still, like it will forever be,
Stories yet untold, conversations unwritten,
Like a dream that remained half seen and felt.

A photo frame, unscratched and spotless,
With two faces smiling at the road ahead,
Now seem to be the laugh of merciless fate,
As if that is actually what it had meant to say.

A blue file, supposed to have the documentation,
A pen, to write the future but not rewrite the past,
A bottle of ink, to fuel the sparks and the fire,
All out of order, never to be the way it was meant to be.

Thoughts at the moment - 4

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 23:51

27

They ask me what is wrong,
As if they didn't know.

Yes, something is not right,
But how do I make them understand?

If only they could see through me,
If only I could explain myself.

Would it make a difference?
Frankly, it might, or might not.

Ah! I'm living, and that is all,
Living life to its fullest!

If only I could speak the truth,
If only I could not fake me!

I don't speak numerous word,
Silence being the only one.

Loneliness, my only love,
Me is what I am left with now!

Trust worthy friends for support,
And my loving family to live for!

Reasons

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , , | Posted on 22:48

17


I choose to run away,
Not 'cause I want to.
But 'cause I find myself,
Drawn even more close to you.

I try to keep my lips sealed,
Not 'cause I have to,
But 'cause I'm afraid,
I might spill it all to you.

I am always busy,
Not 'cause I'm supposed to be,
But 'cause I know its the only way,
To keep my mind away from you.

I cannot fall in love,
Not 'cause I can't find a girl,
But 'cause the corpse of hope,
Has not quite burned to ashes.

I write all this down,
Not 'cause I'm forced to,
But 'cause I want you to know,
All that resides within me.

I scribble these again and again,
Not 'cause I can't write more,
But 'cause this is all on my mind,
And my words speak only for it.

P.S. - Seems like I've been saying the same things since months, every time with a different set of words and attitude.

Thoughts at the moment - 3

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 01:37

10

I wish you were here,
I wish I could hear you,
Waiting for me to return,
Trying to calm me down,
Listening to every detail,
However stupid they be,
Opening up myself to you,
Somehow I want that so bad.

Not that I can't now,
But I refrain myself again,
I pull myself back from me,
Burying those thoughts,
I walk into the arms of sleep.

Wishing good night,
All the moments,
And their thoughts.

Let go... of yourself...

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 22:12

13


Give up while you still can,
Insanity is catching up too fast,
And there is little time you've got,
So revive yourself while you last.

Fly away, the winds are on your side,
And run, not to your dark shadow,
But into the flickering light inside,
Its about time, you need to let go.

There is many a guilt and shame,
That traps a you within yourself,
A mortal beyond your cognizance,
And if he exist, let him show himself.

Is this ever going to help you?
You argue, fight and cry inside,
All bottled up and then sealed,
Why do you even try to hide?

Get over being the one you are,
Couldn't you be something more?
What is with the grumbling voices,
Why are you such an idiotic bore?

Its time you let go of yourself,
Be the one you could not yet be,
Lose yourself and get rediscovered,
And then simply trust what you see!

You've lost numerous moments in this life,
'Cause you try too hard to catch them all.
And as I know it, sometimes to hold on,
You need to let them and yourself fall!

So just let go... let go of yourself...

Oblivious journey

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 06:45

8


The paper boat floats away in oblivion,
Treasuring his one priceless jewel.
The winds of time carrying it down,
While fate watches, calm and cruel.

He doesn't care about the treasures,
Not anymore, at least in this life.
Getting what he had deserved,
The long emptiness and the strife.

Yet he gets around in its search,
Only to find his treasure untouched.
None didn't even bother to look at it,
'Cause it never mattered too much.

He takes up the gem in his hand,
And polishes it to a scintillating shine.
But if only he knew it was not enough,
At least not for this bloody mankind.

Being the fool that he possibly will be,
He tries to keep it safe by his soul.
Locks the heart and shuts the mind,
Only to slip it down some invisible hole.

And before he could even realize,
The jewel's ship had set its sail.
Once more a bold hope bound to it,
A journey anew, which could only fail.

P.S. - This another of my poems which could absolutely make no sense to many of you, but its the bitter truth of life for me. And somehow, this makes me feel happy.

Hanging out

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 14:05

16


H- Hell is right here
A- And we the devils
N- Neglecting the doleful world
G- Getting drenched in happiness
I- Itching for more life
N- Nothing stops us today
G- God too can't help

O- Out on the streets
U- Until the night fades
T- Together we shall rock

P.S. - For Acrostic only.

Jaded

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 00:52

13

J- Joys of the world
A- Arrogantly have turned away
D- Defeated as I am
E- Ending this seems easy
D- Death being my way

P.S. - For Acrostic Only.

Break off

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 02:18

14


B- Begging for your mercy
R- Regretting my last steps
E- Escaping my little world
A- Abandoned here I am
K- Kneeling before you love

O- Offer me some courage
F- Fill me with hope
F- For my fateful death

P.S. - For Acrostic Only

An appology

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 15:17

14

I wanted to walk a thousand miles,
Yet I ended more than a million spaces away,
And even if I bury those thoughts deep,
What of those I lost along the long and busy way.

Its like my darling subject chemistry,
I had a big crush over when I still was in touch,
And now that I've finally given up on it,
I've forgotten the mysteries I once loved so much.

Now curled up in a lonely selfish box,
Banging my head against its stoic stubborn wall,
I find myself asking one question,
"Why the hell did I decide on abandoning them all ?"

"I just wanted to run away",
And as if I didn't know what I had to face then,
I curse myself for being a coward,
An escapist I am, have been, since I don't know when!

And though it might not make sense,
Or at least not to those I owe an obvious apology,
I still can't look into their eyes,
Or come up to them and explain this vague analogy.

Kneeling down I beg your pardon,
To all this world, my friends and enemies and to me,
For being the boy I am,
Still held by the shackles, chains bounding me to thee.

P.S. - I don't even know if those whom I owe an apology are actually reading this. If you are, I'm truly sorry, 'cause until now I never got the courage to say so.

I'm sorry

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 22:31

12


I forced it all on, didn't I?
I had never wanted it though,
Yet I did say it all somehow,
And finally, I'm glad to know!

I was the choker, wasn't I?
Muffling voices rising within thee,
Even strangling the living to death,
I still wonder how that could be me!

It was all my mistake, wasn't it?
Though I had never felt it to be,
But I can see its so obvious now,
How the fault was always in me!

Shaping the world, wasn't I?
Perfection was my ultimate goal,
Yet it was no less than a disaster,
Being the dream of a single soul!

I wanted so much more, didn't I?
The silly heart, the beautiful mind,
But I was definitely not worth it,
'Cause I was ultimately left behind!

I'm ashamed of what I thought it was,
And what it finally turned out to be,
Thinking my search was actually over,
When clearly it wasn't meant to be!

And even as most of it is forgotten I guess,
And there is nothing that could ever be,
I hope its not a bit too late to apologize,
'Cause I'm sorry for trying to change you to me.

P.S. - Sometimes the truth is worse than you thought. And people, stop pretending! It hurts, specially when you know the truth.

A dedication

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 21:42

7

Sadly,
Less than two weeks did I have with her,
Not that I ever wanted the entire lifetime,
Yet a part of me was a bit guilty inside,
As if I had committed a grievous crime.

Well,
A journey was where it had someday begun,
So, back there we were at the end of days,
And while it started with a single destination,
We had now set course for our separate ways.

And even as,
It could not have rained love or sparked many fires,
As I sit thinking, my thoughts appear to be bizarre,
'Cause I seem to treasure a few choicest moments,
And especially those from which I used to run too far.

And though,
We might be applauded for a few sweet act of ours,
Yet I honestly believed our good bye would be sad,
But the sweet ice-cream and the gentle parting kisses,
Could easily rank among the top moments we ever had.

Now,
Some say I wanted this, others believe its for my good,
But I assume my fate to be playing a few games again,
And though I'm not very optimistic of the future ahead,
I can happily announce I'm devoid of the stinking pain.

And finally,
I can only murmur to myself in the dark,
"I saw it come to me and then watched it depart",
And its funny, 'cause the world still asks,
"You little monster, do you even have a heart ?"

P.S. - As the title suggests its dedicated to someone. But lets not get too far with the details here.

The fling

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 09:15

7

Is this the breaking of a new dawn?
Or is it actually the twilight saying hello?
While the night is eagerly waiting its turn,
To shroud the light of the day in despair.

I might smile at the break-through I have,
Yet I wish I could gather some courage,
And talk myself out of this little wreck,
Stop myself from being not the real "me".

Does it hurt to fool the silly heart like this?
No it doesn't, yet its like living on some drug,
Knowing I'm cared for every tiniest moment,
Even as I never could be myself even a bit.

It just being a matter of a few bloody days now,
Before I realize I've lost the heart and the mind,
Craving for a little more in the life's empty corners,
Searching like an emotionally drugged desperate fool.

And its only the smiles and happiness which matters,
Even as I'm confident they would soon come to an end,
'Cause this is the first fling that I've come across in my life,
This is what I'm not, but seem to have regretfully become!

P.S. - Wrote this a few days back. I don't think I still think this way, or at least that is what I want myself to believe.

Smoking love

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 18:47

14



I pulled out a love stick from the pack,
Somehow I chose you out of the huge lot,
And never saw that they all were the same,
Thinking, "this is what my fate has all got".

I placed you recklessly between my schedule,
As someone pulled out a light and lit it for me,
And I ignorantly took it all into my barren life,
'Cause it was thrill that was offered by thee.

I had just took in the very first few sips of you,
And I was already under an illusion too smoky,
I held you and your presence seemed to be forever,
'Cause you were the only one I saw close to me.

I enjoyed every insignificant moment with you,
And didn't ever care to see the red burning you,
Losing, tiring and turning into ashes almost instantly,
I never knew the moments were reducing to a few.

You burned at a distance, so that I couldn't feel you,
And all I received was your incessant love and care,
I cared for you too, but it never crossed my mind,
That you burning and falling all alone is not quite fair.

All I felt was a bitter and sour taste in my mouth,
'Cause nothing could ever remain the same perfect,
And while you were nearly the same burning insane,
I had begun noticing the small non-existent defect.

Or might be I was mindful of the love drawing close,
'Cause soon no fun was to be drawn out of this,
And even as I was someday so sure this was it,
I was starting to be mindful of the things I did miss.

Like the tempting love pack kept just by my side,
Suddenly it was all I had in my deceitful mind,
But I had the courtesy to wait till this was over,
When I would be sure you were kept far behind.

And as I sucked up the smoke of love too hard,
I didn't notice you were burning even more red,
Still trying to please me and cover my mistakes,
But I already had planned something in my head.

The flame was dying, 'cause I could feel its heat,
Accounting for all the smoke balls I was ever fed,
And while I did put you in the ash tray to never let go,
Your light and smoke vanished like you were so dead.

Then I looked at the unexplored pack of possibilities,
Something I was forced to ignore while in your love,
And with you dead and flamed off, I thought anew,
"Lets relive the fun and get over with the old love".

And as the rest started to tempt me a bit too much,
I really thought it was time to move on to what I get,
And according to me, try something a little different,
Even as it was the same freaking mortal cigarette!

P.S. - One fine day while I was smoking, this analogy between love and cigarette came to my mind, and somehow it does fit, at least in some cases.

Lying next to me

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , | Posted on 00:59

20


I saw my life, my future, my dreams take shape,
As I realized she was right there, lying next to me.

"I'm so not looking into your eyes right now,
I'm just staring at myself growing terribly old
".

"I'm not just touching your soft precious hands,
I'm only soothing my little daughter to sleep
".

"I'm so not bragging about my job here,
I'm merely trying to show the future that would be
".

"I'm definitely not throwing my body all over you,
I'm here to prove I love you no matter what may be
".

"But I don't think its going to be quite possible,
Unless you come up and well, at least kiss me
"!

And even as I had those very words in my mind,
I could never have enough guts to speak for me.

But somehow she knew me and reciprocated,
'Cause a month later she would be married to me.


P.S. - The credit for the idea of the verse goes to the blog Room for Romance.

P.P.S. - Don't even ask me how I came up with something like that, I have no idea!

On my mind

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 14:23

4

I'm thinking of this life,
Part of it coming to a close,
And I'm busy cleaning the mess,
These years have created in me.

I'm trying to recall it all,
Those that were when I came,
And the ones I'm leaving with,
Making extensive note of both.

I'm comparing the two 'me',
The one who was innocently silent,
And the experienced wicked being,
Of what I lost in this change's way.

I'm sorting out my companions,
Analyzing who are the only ones,
And if I miss someone in the list,
I'm sure he'll knock at my door.

I'm gathering all that I've learnt,
'Cause of all that I've been through,
And noting each of my mistakes,
Those I'm fearful of committing again.

I'm deciding whats next now,
Where do I go from here on,
And most of all with whom,
If at all someone is with me?

That is all for now,
Thoughts governing my mind,
Overburdening my small existence,
Making my terrible life even more miserable.

Falling apart

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 03:28

13


The flame has not yet died,
It stings me a little deep inside,
And even as you are unaware,
You fuel with every small word,
No matter what they may be.

And the heat eats me away,
Bit by bit, edge by edge,
I fall apart from myself,
Knowing I can't be together,
None to bind me to myself.

Frantically searching for you,
Once I realize the truth in haste,
And stick to keeping the peace,
But somehow I give in again,
Only to live the vicious cycle anew.

I see nightmares in my happiness,
Every lonely day a hopeless struggle,
Braving the unanswered questions,
Crossing the flames of my memories,
Foolishly dreaming of time to turn away.

And you have no doubt of my state,
I'm happy, must be smiling?
Yes, I am, but falling each day,
When once you took me to heights,
You now bring me down with ease.

Waiting still for the last piece,
To fall away and bring peace,
An end even you would cherish,
A blessing I pray for everyday,
Saving me from the curse I live today!

P.S. - Its been a long time since I wrote. And I must say, its good to be back.

Confessions of a sinner

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 22:34

10


I've cursed the friends who stabbed me,
Instead of hugging the few of them tight.
I've spoken of revenge with all my heart,
Instead of revealing forgiveness's might.

I've never let go of the hurtful moments I've lived,
Instead, treasured them deep in my chaotic mind still.
I've repaid all with the interests they are worthy of,
Instead of going into the pathetic talks of good will.

I've tried to live every moment in extensive smiles,
Instead of being marred by the ungrateful world's scar.
I've went too far and beyond to fetch those happiness,
Instead of stopping and pity for those who lost in the war.

I've fulfilled all the wishes that I have ever breathed,
Instead of praying for someone's wish to come true.
I've trampled others' visions to realize my future's fate,
Instead of preserving their dreams in my hands too.

I've always did what my heart or mind asked me to,
Instead of accounting for the others' incessant call.
I've rejected everything that was ever put before me,
Instead of foolishly attempting to please one and all.

I've never thought of the after life I would be living,
Instead, lived in the present and proved my worth.
I've never believed in walking to a majestic heaven,
Instead, lived a hope filled life on this humble Earth.

Yes, I am a sinner,
And I've never barred anyone from calling me this,
But let me be addressed so by the unblemished souls,
And not by the self proclaimed hypocritical saints,
Who's deeds are flecked with myriad moral holes.

P.S. - Dedicated to the girl who's words inspired me to write this verse. Thank you.

And I...

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 23:27

7


I feel her around,
Watch her walk up to me,
Smile on her red lips,
Flaunts a casual style,
And my heart beats...

I close in on her,
Hold her hands in mine,
Pull her closer to myself,
Put my arm round her waist,
And whisper to her...

I pop up my head,
Half lying just by her side,
Fiddle with her hair locks,
Put my arm above her shoulder,
And get closer to her...

I look at her face,
Calmly resting on my shoulder,
My arms warped around her,
Her arm lazily lining mine,
And her smell...

I watch her fade away,
Clasp at nothing but the air,
Wonder at prelude of loneliness,
Arms droop down, disappointed,
And then walk away...

I wonder if its true,
Or was it once a reality,
Or a dream I saw yesterday,
Or simply a futuristic imagination,
And I...

Dream catchers

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 07:11

11


In ignorance we build castles in the air,
Confidence marks the path to success,
Innovation brings the future to reality,
And friends' trust comes to the support.

Dreams are what we would call them later,
Now they are the ultimate goal of our future,
And if we ever get them to see this world's light,
Our ambition would be then turned to bitter reality.

We hold those dreams close to our lively hearts,
And keep working with our mechanical minds,
Days on end we suffer the routine and get lost,
In the end, the heart becomes one with the mind.

We lose the vision we had in our bright eyes,
We forget to risk it all on our whim and belief,
And remain shackled in the chains of security,
Accustomed to live the life in this easy regularity.

We give up and turn our backs to our past,
Even as they all could have been entirely ours,
Just like the castles we had build someday,
Believing we would be dream catchers one day.

While the rarest of gems follow their hearts,
Realizing their destiny being etched in gold,
Riding away on success and their old faith,
Running after their dreams, their castles in air.

The ending

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , , | Posted on 14:58

2

I'm skeptic,
I'm pessimistic,
I'm so hopeless,
I'm just not enough.

Its neither the pain,
Nor is it the hurt,
Its neither the hate,
Nor is it the mistakes,
That makes me weep,
As if that is expected!

Its neither the joys,
Nor is it the love,
Its neither the happiness,
Nor is it the victory,
That makes me smile,
As if they are impossible!

Has losing made me a loser,
That I make no note of it anymore?
Or has love made me heartless,
That I suffer at its loss no more?

And yet I'm ecstatic to be this way,
To keep living on each of these days,
Spending them under a gracious silence,
And never try to explore the other ways...

Could a story have a happy ending?

Drowned...

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 06:40

6


Drowned in the music,
Let my voice fade away,
Let my breath be choked,
Let my mind hear no more.

Drowned in the words,
Let my creativity flourish,
Let my savior be just me,
Let my pen curve out the truth.

Drowned in the laughter,
Let my smiles be diminished,
Let my thought forget its course,
Let me hear its encore some more.

Drowned in the business,
Let me taste the success,
Let me think of the work in hand,
Let me bury yet another day.

Drowned in the life,
Let me go to crushing depths,
Let me be torn apart into pieces,
Let me experience what is death.

Finally, yes finally...

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 14:08

7

Did I shed a drop of tear?
Not even a single I guess.
Did I smile just a little?
Yes I did for a few moments.

Now in another universe all together,
A place which has not even a trace of it,
Did I come here by my own happy choice?
Lets just say by situations I arrived here.

Time to get a new dimension to thought,
Time to be be cautious and walk closed arm,
Time to make sure I don't keep dragging on,
Time to end the wait and finally carry on.

Thought you knew me?

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 14:34

18


Myriad dreams,
Crazy dreams crowd me,
Eluding the reality from myself,
Irritating me to cast them all away,
'Cause none have ever been true,
What more could I expect now?

So I sit motionless,
And keep waiting patiently,
Watching them burn and die,
Right before my dreamy eyes,
I feel them hacked to pieces,
And simply keep staring...

But when have they left me?
The very next moment they are back,
Drawing me to their world,
Conjuring up my numb desires,
Fetching them up for me,
And I give in, dreaming of thee.

Hippocratic thoughts,
Mindless thoughts reside here,
Tirelessly trying to motivate me,
Yet not an inch do I ever react,
'Cause not all are in my hands,
What more could I possibly do?

So I stare into the emptiness,
Hoping to let this phase pass away,
When they get an idea of how I am,
And stop pushing me to the limits,
In hope I'll undo all that had been done,
And simply keep staring...

But could my mind ever stop working?
The emptiness is even a boon to it,
The one who has nothing else to play with,
It inquires, provokes and begs of me,
And seldom I break down, try to sort it out,
And commit crimes, mistakes to thee.

Freaky smiles,
Extinct smiles work their way up,
Back on my face and into my life,
Pretending all is fine with me,
'Cause they can mask the gloominess,
What am I expected to do anyways?

So I wear a smile the way I can,
Wishing this be the exterior at least,
Keeping the satire and truth of fate away,
And cure me of being the laughing stalk,
All shocked to see me laugh my heart out,
And simply keep staring...

But does it mean I've come to faking?
I often have my moments, cherished ones,
Unknowingly connect to my beating heart,
For once I let go of this inhibition within me,
And stare at the facts as a layman could,
And smile again, laughing at thee.

'Cause I was always an obscure being!
Now keep guessing and go on betting,
'Cause none can win or lose against me,
And supposing you are confused again,
I have just one other question to you all,
You really thought you knew me enough?

The unspoken desires

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 17:27

4


Did you ask what I want from you?
If you had, I would have answered,
I want to see you smile wide,
And show you the dimple on your face.
I want to share my few happiness,
And divide your sorrows forever.
I want to show you what you are worth,
And give you all even when unasked.
I want to take you around the world,
And land you at places you had never been.
I want to share my entire life with you,
And let you design it the way best for you.
I want to submit myself like to the Gods,
And rest in peace 'cause its in your hands.
I want to show you all that is possible,
And all that could be if we exist together,
When it would be only you and me.

Did you ask what I want from myself?
If you had, I would have answered,
I want to bring back my soul to life,
And see it alter me to another being.
I want to connect to my inner self,
And be the best of the men who stand.
I want to excel in whatever I ever did,
And bring my innovation into this world.
I want to be known in this teeming universe,
And watch people stare at me in jealousy.
I want to hand over my life to someone,
And smile on my choice of the special one.
I want to stop running from the truth,
And rectify the mistakes I've committed.
I want to live this life the way I never have,
And experience all that a man could ever do,
When it would be only me and you.

Sadly enough none ever had the time,
To even ask what I want in my life,
To even think what I could possibly desire,
And its funny I'm talking about it now,
When I didn't have the mind to inquire it too.
Where do all of us get busy so much?
Where do our thoughtful minds go for a toss,
When we have so much time and waste it?
And only when we get the "time out" error,
Realizing we have finally lost it all,
And our little lives have been crushed to dust,
Stretched over the memories and failures,
Unseen, unheeded by all, rejected in disgust,
As something that never was or never will be.

Do I have to wait forever to be asked again,
Or to get the chance to question myself?

In hope we always carry ourselves around,
Waiting in oblivion, watching silently, patiently,
For a stranger to pass us by, and so do I...

I'm waiting

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 23:22

8


I'm here, waiting for you dear,
Standing at the verge of giving up,
But I'm trying to fight it to the end,
When would you end my miseries?

Do you even know I exist at all,
Waiting here for you to show up,
And brighten my life resting in shadows,
And rescue me from these fakers?

I'm here, waiting for you dear,
Searching for your distant glance,
Begging for your life's feather touch,
Striving hard to make you mine forever.

Do you even know I'm dying here,
Blinded by the smokes around me,
Choked for the want of a little solace,
Tired of gazing out into the futile darkness?

I'm here, waiting for you dear,
Hoping to unravel my small life's mystery,
Wishing that the girl I see is you this time,
And silently waiting for you to answer my call.

Do you even know how weak I am,
Losing all along, the best of memories,
The greatest of stories ending in ashes,
With moments never to be repeated again?

I'm here, waiting for you dear,
By the side of the old forgotten street,
Knowing you will be the only one there,
Might be searching for me too someday.

A revelation

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 20:31

11


I never knew I looked so funny,
Or even I could make a few faces,
But I'm glad I'm mature quiet a bit,
Then again mind it, not too much.

I never knew I was too serious,
Or if I ever didn't smile for years,
But I'm rightly crazily laughing again,
Hope its within the back tracking limits.

I never knew I could converse a thought,
Or even put up a nonsense point of talk,
Now slowly I'm getting into the game,
Wishing I don't remain stuck at so.

I never knew she didn't talk too much,
Or even give some curious glances,
Yet she is mysterious never the less,
Which I mean to solve if given the time.

I never knew a few more still among them,
Or rather they gave me no reason to believe,
But they are yet, very prominently over here,
Some I would love to flush out from my memory.

I never knew I had memories no more,
Or a mind to process them all together,
Yet they float around my existence,
Nagging me sometimes out of my wits.

I never knew I had an existence in this era,
And even though not a truly formidable one,
Yet I could get into their heads I guess,
Just like my friend sitting next over there.

Me, and still you?

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 04:27

11


I had known to have forgot all,
I knew I was back to being me,
I believed I was alive once more,
But you keep coming back here.

With just a small pinch of smile,
And in the world of the fakers,
Somehow look still very real!

I had gave up everything then,
I was supposed to start fresh,
I thought I was walking again,
But you keep crossing me more.

Where I can always hear your steps,
And cannot help, save ignore,
Looking not an inch above the floor.

I lived a hell lot tired days,
I kept every piece of my body busy,
I shouldered all responsibility with ease,
But you keep talking to my head.

Playing with my conscience,
Even with the little that is left,
In some corner of my mindless head.

I jumped into the world of tensions,
I swam across oceans of alcohol,
I steered my way into the smoke,
But you keep distracting my ways.

Once towards my goal,
Then away from it, miles away,
As if its some racing game.

I wished this was the end of it,
I told myself no more of the calls,
I promised myself of no more text,
But you keep weakening me even more.

Shaking my belief in myself,
Restoring all that I want to dream,
While every other thing is just a big void.

I kept hoping against all hopes,
I out weighed the dreams over reality,
I somehow barely survived alive,
But you keep being just you.

With all that you had with you,
With all that I loved in you,
'Cause it was always about you.

A goodbye

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 04:18

9


Faking the smile is easy,
Conjuring the poetic soul is not.

Reasoning out with the mind is easy,
Bringing back the heart to life is not.

Losing an inspiration is easy,
Rediscovering it once more is not.

Writing something is easy,
Writing without an impetus is not.

Picking up a pen is easy,
Resting it for the lifetime is not.

Ending something is easy,
Forcibly carrying it on is not.

Saying hello to the world is easy,
Biding it good bye is definitely not.

What do I mean?

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 18:38

9


If I am silent for long,
Doesn't mean I'm thinking,
Possibly I have nothing more to do,
Other than staring into the emptiness!

If I am not talking to you,
Doesn't mean I don't want to,
Might be I can't speak to you,
I'm not the extrovert you think me!

If I am laughing at you,
Doesn't mean I'm not feeling for you,
'Cause some feeling are personal,
They can never be shown to you!

If I am smiling on the outside,
Doesn't mean I'm not crying within,
The tears could just have dried up,
And I'm left with nothing anymore!

If I appear to be too strong,
Doesn't mean I'm not in pain,
The fake strength is all I have now,
As I've overlooked the worries after all!

If I seem to be a free bird to you,
Doesn't mean I'm not bound in chains,
I could still be closed within myself,
Shackled to my myriad sweet memories!

If I am living every moment,
Doesn't mean I am not dying inside,
Could be I have been long dead,
I'm simply dragging the corpse around!

If I am doing something,
Doesn't mean I want to do it,
I just might not know what to do,
Most times I'm clueless what I mean!

The onlooker

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 04:47

2


You could stare from a distance,
Just keep watching I say,
At least that will be definitely real,
Unless every other thing is a fake!

You never know how to expect,
Or could find no reason to do so?
And when there is no expectation,
There could be no reason to hurt!

You will have your dreams,
Elaborate, cute, unrealistic dreams,
And yet truer than the broken now,
So better keep living in your dreams!

Neither unfulfilled promises nor lost words,
No pondering about the future,
Just the five minute moment you live,
The only moment that could ever matter!

There will be no shackles to break free,
'Cause freedom still is all yours,
Whenever you want it to be yours,
Or when you decide it has to be she!

No sparks of passion to fly around,
Only an occasional racing heart beat,
Or a super sized 32 teethed smile,
Now forget everything and just enjoy!

Heart breaks remain the unseen ghosts,
And while you could have a drooping face,
You invariably end up getting cheered,
'Cause you were never a part of the race!

Just don't love someone yet so easily,
Simpler is to watch her from a distance,
'Cause I've seen numerous love turn traitors,
And most are always fearful of a defeat!

And now that I know all this and more,
I begin wondering why I never knew this,
Wishing had this been the way I was,
I could have been saved a million wars!

Craving for drugs

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 11:02

2


I thought I had beaten it after all!
How foolish I was to dream of a win,
To believe the disease was eradicated,
To imagine myself free from its clutches!

But I didn't realize until now,
I've been defeated so bad,
I've been pushed to a place,
From where there is no return!

As my friend had called it once,
Love, a drug in our lives, in us!
And I've been addicted real bad,
And sadly I can't find alternatives to it!

I'm searching for the drug back in me,
But knowing that could never happen,
I'm turning into a worse being,
An addict, a serious drug addict!

But my hands can't stretch too long,
And I know I've to be satisfied with little,
Fighting my self conscience every moment,
Trying to reason out or run away from me!

I've turned to the smokes, no big deal?
Well, not really, I don't think so,
But then its not it, the end is not here,
I crave for more, to remain in a trance!

I can't live like this, can't be simply living,
I need something, in the absence of someone,
And while I have nothing left within me,
Intuitively I turn to drinking, to turn to love!

I don't let myself go back to where I was,
I at least can't do it consciously myself,
So why remain in my senses when all I get is hurt?
Better be out of my mind, no mind – no hurts!

And I remain happy, smiling and thinking,
Of the times I should and the ones I shouldn't,
I've come past caring about my broken dreams,
I just want to hang on tightly to my memories!

And I can't give them away to anyone, none,
Not so easily, 'cause they are my own, my very own!
'Cause somewhere deep down I still live that life,
Even when I show I don't even bother to think that way!

But even as I crave for more of the memories frantically,
I suddenly realize all of it is fake, an outright lie now,
So why not turn to the one that is definitely for real,
And I crave for drugs, welcoming them to my life!

P.S. - Was that "me", me? I hope not!

I can't see through you

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 03:39

0


You were never a transparent crystal,
And yet I had my ways to get to you,
Even as the fog of confusion was alive,
I still could make my way through you,
Feeling the path to your inner self,
Searching and following the feeble light,
Which always illuminated your heart,
Something I always looked forward to.

I always knew when you were upset,
And when you were trying to pretend,
Even as I couldn't hear much of you.
I knew that sleepy voice of your's,
And knew when it was really time to sleep,
Even when I couldn't see your drooping eyes.
I could recognize the drag in your tone,
The subdued irritation in your words,
And the cries, even as I never saw the red eyes.

The fog seemed to have become too thick,
Or have you restricted me to where you are,
Keeping me away from yourself for my sake?
I still keep searching for that guiding light,
And remain lost in its blind, fruitless search.
All doors seem to be shut too tight,
All the colourful curtains drawn to a close,
And I keep standing here, confused!

I can't see through your falsehood anymore,
I always remain deceived by the girl I knew,
But this girl is no more unknown to me,
She is the same girl I love and care,
And yet she has changed for good or worse,
I couldn't keep track of the time enough,
I couldn't understand her just enough,
I couldn't come up to her worth enough!

And yet, I've not lost hope,
I keep searching for you,
Still trying...
I ask myself, really?

The time is gone

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 09:22

11


How swiftly do things change!
How easily do we wither away!
How unlucky are the memories,
To remain as memories only,
Far away from being the reality,
Miles apart from our true lives!

There was a time,
When I loved to see those words,
Even the smallest mention of 'you',
In the facebook's recent updates,
Be it the joining of a silly group,
Or a small thought provoking note,
Or a beautifully penned poetry!

I still see those words,
Your cute profile pic popping up,
And still feel a gush of blood,
From every inch of my body,
Rushing in hope to fill my heart,
And see them get cold in the run,
By the time they reach their destiny,
Its boiling hot, scorching my heart,
Creating more fissures than mending,
Aching each bit more than soothing.

While there was sometime a 'me',
Re-reading and re-turning the pages,
To come back to 'you' again and again,
Now there is a 'me', a different 'me',
Wanting to run away from those words,
Shutting down those very pages quickly,
And hiding beneath some useless crap.
Scared to go to where I was,
Somewhere I did once belong,
Somewhere I always wanted to be,
Somewhere I definitely will never be!

Sometimes...

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 23:58

10

Sometimes,
Yes a lot many times,
Why do I lose it?
When I know it all,
The beginning and the end,
The futility of false hopes!

Sometimes,
A few times each day,
Why do I want to cry?
Like its the only thing,
The one I can do myself,
That I have had not enough!

Sometimes,
In unusual moments,
Why do I break?
'Cause I need to be strong,
Have to move on away,
But I simply feel crippled!

Sometimes,
Most of the time,
Why I can't continue?
Get on with this life,
My friends and family,
'Cause that is all I've got!

Sometimes,
I have no count,
Why do I remain stuck there?
Hanging where I shouldn't,
Dreaming the impossible,
Trying to relive the moments!

Sometimes,
Even when I shouldn't,
Why do I feel lonely?
Even back at college,
Where I'm always busy,
When I really have no time!

Sometimes,
All through the day,
Why do I pretend to be fine?
Scared to show my heart,
Fearful that no one understands,
Knowing there is no one at all!

Sometimes,
With my friends,
Why do I try to smile?
When I should actually laugh,
My lips just won't stretch,
Adamant they always remain!

But at other times,
When I don't do the above,
I just breathe in the air,
And well, live it, for its sake,
Its not meaningless,
Yet not always!

I fell in love - 7 (Life goes on)

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 01:53

9


"Life is simple, it is to live",
That is how it is supposed,
That is how my friends state,
Its like a theory we proposed!

Our life was simple, isn't it?
And it was to remain so too,
Yes we had our share of tensions,
But we felt for each other too!

And yet I didn't ever dream of it,
Not about the way it turned out,
But that I'm finally writing this verse,
The end, without very little doubt!

Mistake, a petty small word,
And yet it engulfs all of this,
Your and our and her and mine,
Not that was, but what now is.

Am I pretending to be hopeful?
No, not this time at least it seems,
Its truly devoid of hope and belief,
End of the future and the dreams!

What remains are a few verses,
Incomplete just the way my life is now,
Unnamed like this relation we have,
With no answer, when and as to how?

Our lives indeed have to move on,
Within ourselves and without us,
Life stops for neither of us just here,
So why brood over this huge fuss?

But I can answer their silly question,
"Have you even fallen in love?"
These seven verses should be all,
My pieces of soul, "I fell in love"!

P.S. - No more to this series.

Let go...I gave up...

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 05:34

4


'Let go' was my mantra,
When did you make it yours?
Or had you given up all the rights,
Those you still actually have on me,
'Cause I don't even remember,
When I took it all away?

Will it matter now,
In the tiniest of ways,
If I say I remember,
I still think of all of them.
The promises we made,
The letters we wrote,
The way we talked,
The rooms we decorated,
The lamps we bought.

Will it make a difference,
If I say, I still want it,
I still want to go back,
To being the way we were,
To having the love we had,
To debating we way we did,
To understanding the way we could,
To making our lives together.

But I'm scared to go back,
And that is all!
I'm terribly afraid,
That even when I go back,
I'll be here once more,
Standing where I stand now,
Hurting and bleeding all over again.

And while I just gave up on all this,
Too easily and with little fight,
You couldn't even call me back,
Out of guilt and rage,
You just turned your back,
And I walked away from you,
Head hung in disappointment.
And while I didn't give you,
The time you needed,
You didn't give me just one thing,
A small promise to continue!

But you were broken, I remember,
Broken to hear, "out of love",
And what should I have been?
Crushed to bits and pieces?
How well the saying goes,
"We can rise from our ashes",
But, "the broken cannot be mend",
And so be it, let it be the end!

After an year

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , , , | Posted on 19:46

0


I'm back again,
I return to the woods,
In an undying faith,
To relive those moments.
To smell the soft virgin air,
Unadulterated my the sun.
To gather it cold aura,
Untouched by the golden rays.
To listen to the creaks,
Of the numerous stout trees,
Standing aloft in pride.
To stare at their baby leaves,
Covered in a layer of moisture,
And a fine veil of dust.
To tread on the selfish stones,
Sitting right in the middle of the street.
To trample the red dust below,
And feel its cushion on my feet,
And glide over patches of mud,
In my own childish glee.

I came back here again,
To be challenged once more,
By the distance that keeps growing,
And the road which knows no end.
To realize the limits of my own,
And set more of them.
To make myself hungry for the air,
And gasp at the fresh blowing wind.
To feel my heart racing on,
Amidst the rising music beats.

Finally I've come back,
And experienced it all,
Ye there is a void in me,
An emptiness refusing to fill,
A wound failing to heal,
Why is my heart not singing?
How has it forgotten its lyrics?
Why is it not at peace?
Can someone answer me please.

P.S. - Written a long time ago, a month ago I suppose.

Be real for me

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 18:43

6


Where are you right now?
Do you feel my heart cry?
Burdened by the weights,
Heavy as hell thrown on me,
Your absence is all I see,
Why can't I feel your hands.
Wiping my tears as they flow?
Why can't I tell you all,
This mystery, this hurtful soul,
Bent on revenge and filled with rage?
I'm searching frantically,
Wandering my empty hands,
Over all the trash I see here,
Just to feel your touch once.
Why are you not not here with me?

Imaginations are all that is left of me,
And I'm hallucinating you,
Breathing your love,
Kissing your hurt,
Feeling your heart,
In old faith you'll do too,
And I'll have some peace,
But why is this?
Why can't I feel you around me?
Why is this feeling of loneliness,
Killing me every second?
Crushing me into bits and pieces,
Each moment I spent,
Times spent uselessly,
Without you.

I need you dear,
I want you now,
Just be real for me,
For all I see are shadows,
Shadows of my past,
And glimpse of the future!

P.S. - Quite a few days ago, 20 days to be exact, I had written this.

Dreamy dreams

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , , | Posted on 11:55

8


Lost in the deathly silence of the night,
I remain stranded in my world all alone,
Bleeding and crying in my loneliness,
Afraid to open my forced shut eyes,
Scared that finally this is not a dream.

I've dreamt more than enough already,
Not to dream any more in this lifetime,
Watched them grow tall and healthy,
And then seen them reduced to dust,
I am tired of breaking them anymore.

I never dreamt, never could do,
Then you came along in my life,
And brought along the fairy tale life,
To live forever and last the eternity,
And I knew this was to stay of course.

But I didn't know I was dreaming,
Already in your trance I had entered,
And I dreamt, the first in my entire life,
Since then I kept sinking deep in its world,
Unknown that none of it was at all real.

One after another they just came,
Building castles in my not so happy life,
And I never ever doubted their  strength,
Forgetting anything can happen here,
Because it is, but the world of dreams.

And all proved to be what they were,
Dreamy dreams!

That one day

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 01:00

12


I can still feel the heat,
The sweat beads flowing,
The half-closed eyes,
Burning in the sun,
After a wait till infinity,
The weather I described.

I can still see the light,
The bright white I love,
And the murky orange,
Or even the stinging one,
Of the small lamp burning,
Resting still on the table.

I remember the clock,
The time that ticked away,
Unnoticed and alone,
Slipping out of my hands,
Like an invisible shadow,
Floating up to the sky.

I still think of the number,
Glowing in green on the AC,
With everything under control,
The cold and the numbness,
And then my little silly help,
The touch of the fingers.

I can still see the distance,
And a long wait, hours,
For that to close to zero,
And the reasons for it,
Bending my head in tears,
For fear they be noticed.

I can still smell the fragrance,
Experienced first hand,
Once and once again,
Brushing against the hair,
Long, black and half-curled,
And getting lost in them.

I still yearn for that embrace,
The once in a lifetime,
The first of many to come,
Pure, scared, devoid of lust,
Just a bond, a string,
Pulling two lives together.

I can still feel the cushion,
Below and at times above,
That soft naughty force,
The mix of the moisture,
The taste of the pink,
The lock without a key.

I still feel sleepy,
But its just not enough,
To wake in my dreams,
And live the day and night,
Or to stare into emptiness,
And then fall back again.

I still hate to think,
I walked in the morning,
Had to leave her alone,
Standing at the corner,
Of the street she lived,
When I still had a little time.

I still wanna go back,
To the one day I lived,
And will never live again,
The day I met my life,
And came face to face,
To my present and future!

P.S. - This poem is dedicated to the day (8th June) I met my love for the first time. Notably we had fallen in love even before we had seen each other.

P.P.S. - I love you.

My plan

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , | Posted on 17:46

14


I didn't plan to write this out,
I never knew I could compose.
My plan was to blurt out myself,
And feel the joy in doing so.

I didn't plan to make this blog,
I never knew blogging was in me.
My plan was to be socially active,
And blogging was a way to do it.

I didn't plan to live in my verses,
I never knew their subtle meaning.
My plan was to write as a hobby,
And scribble for the fun in it.

I didn't plan to open up my heart,
I never knew poems spoke from it.
My plan was to keep all to myself,
And be a closed, secure book.

I didn't plan to keep writing from then,
I never knew I wouldn't tire out.
My plan was to type and forget,
And seldom come back there.

I didn't plan to paint the verses anew,
I never knew the colours were not lost.
My plan was to let the scribbler be buried,
And preclude it from further stinging pain.

But my plans seldom do work out,
And this one failed miserably,
And it grew into my passion and love,
Only when you rewrote my life's book.

P.S. - A land mark this is for me. This marks the 100th post of my blog. At least something to cheer about, isn't it?

P.P.S. - I thank all my fellow blogger friends who have criticized, appreciated and inspired me to keep writing. And the special one who brought me back to the world of poetry. Thank you love.

Thoughts at the moment - 2

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , | Posted on 22:12

16


An idle mind wandering,
Into the empty cavern of reasons.
And a silly heart searching,
For some non-existent happy beats.

A pair of burning eyes,
Wanting to rest and close down.
And a flurry of optimistic thoughts,
Believe they can then live a dream.

My not so heavy body,
Saying, "work up, I need to be fit".
And a weak pair of legs,
Naturally longing for a little peace.

An overly lazy boy,
More interested in just remaining still.
And a hopelessly poetic soul,
In a misconception that it can write.

P.S. - I think I'll sleep now.

Every morning

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , | Posted on 07:06

6


Some rising with the day anew,
Sleepy with a hint of their dreams,
A gleaming beauty in their eyes,
Smiling with the delight of the past,
A long night and a new day ahead!

Some irritated faces work up to stand,
Tired, "if only the night would be long",
Prepare for an old battle fought long,
Repeating all that was and ever will be,
A rusty set of weapons and a defeat!

I, amidst the cool refreshing breeze,
Warm rays of light flooding the air,
The night yet not obeyed, not slept,
Smelling the hopeful usual morning,
A cold morn and a hot cup of tea!

Thoughts at the moment - 1

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 03:48

11


What a lovely day it was!
Bright, sunny and no class,
When I heard the pop of IM,
A wide smile spreads across,
As I recollect that first day,
Flipping through the pages,
In my own joyous delight.

A welcome change from then,
The maturity and the strength,
All and sundry rebuilt in time,
Drifting to the memories I own,
As I bask in this lovely glory,
Reading the letter which says it all,
The past, present and the future.

I close my eyes and start dreaming,
Trying to rekindle the fire in me,
The crazy passion which was alive,
The hunger of love that I had felt,
As I gaze at the images of my past,
And even though they were not too many,
History had repeated more than thrice!

Running away from the bitter truth,
That neither is life all rosy, nor is love,
I read through the pain and the hurt,
And replenish my bleeding wounds,
As the buried evil comes back to haunt,
Reclaiming my little laughter anew,
Pushing me back to the hell hole.

I stagger back to my diminishing reality,
Trying to recollect the smiles in vain,
But just when I seem to lose everything,
The fog of love spreads over my mind,
Masking the devils in its divine white,
My heart begins to beat and feel,
While I retreat to my cherished dream!

P.S. - Yes, I still miss her.

I can't write

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 23:58

12


The music is gone,
The heart sings no more,
The words burned to ashes,
They simply cannot rhyme!

The inspiration just not there,
Imaginations fail me now,
The emotions have dried up,
I've been feeling so numb!

Always lost in thought,
Drifting in my memories,
I see none, nothing at all,
As I keep searching for you.

The verses are lost,
I can't write any more!

P.S. - If I said I'll be perfectly fine without you, I lied.

Déjà vu

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , | Posted on 16:27

12


Illusion,
Of smoky vision,
Of the long gone days,
Of moments I've never been in.

Memories,
Of unseen times,
Haunting to be very true,
When I know they can never be so.

Living,
The present,
Acts seem repeated,
Rising up from my undead past.

Feeling,
A strange one,
Like I've been there,
And done what I did again, just now.

Déjà vu,
Is what I call,
Is what I feel at times,
I know its the truth, when its far from that.

In this life...

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 17:54

18


Did you try,
To leap across the wall,
Only to sit at the top of a water tank,
Just for the sake of breaking rules,
And have some adrenaline running,
In a windy star lit skied night.
If you didn't,
You should definitely try!

Did you try,
To jump off your balcony,
Then the low security wall,
Only to run away home,
For the sake of being there,
When none gave you the permission.
If you didn't,
You should till you could!

Did you try,
To stand before you seniors,
Shaking in fear and helplessness,
And then as the ceremony began,
Try to keep their silly scary wishes,
And later laugh at everything you did!
If you didn't,
You could try, its fun too actually!

Did you try,
To pull off the towel,
The only one your friend was wearing,
Just to make him beg for mercy,
And record the same in your possession,
Only to keep black mailing him again.
If you didn't,
You should definitely secure your position!

Did you try,
To pour juice,
Over your best friend's head,
At a place you best desired,
And see him grinding his teeth,
Just to want a piece of you,
If you didn't,
you should enjoy the scene!

Did you try,
To go on a long walk,
On the busy roads topless,
In the evening while girls passed by,
And be happy that you dared,
When you didn't have the best of physic,
If you didn't,
You should see that stare!

Did you try,
To pick up a fight,
Knowing it could be left alone,
But the stupid ego hopping a lot,
And hence you took on him alone,
Not knowing what the outcome could be.
If you didn't,
I hope you could never try!

Did you try,
To stand up against the authority,
Only to be chased by the police,
And spent the days hiding in shadows,
Trying to help your friends who are in need,
Even when you were not at fault even a bit.
If you didn't,
At least know this, you can seldom win!

Did you try,
To give an exam,
Without preparing even a bit,
And come out grinning out of the hall,
'Cause you knew everything of it,
Or you couldn't possibly know a thing.
If you didn't,
You should dare sometime!

Did you try,
To shout at your teacher,
Knowing he could fail you if he wanted,
And then repent why you did it,
While scampering later around him,
When your worst dream came true.
If you didn't,
You definitely shouldn't try!

Did you try,
To spent all you have,
Be a broke for the rest month,
And borrow from numerous others,
Only to ask for a little more time,
Each time they ask for their share.
If you didn't,
You should see, it feels not that bad!

Did you try,
To lie to your parents,
Only to go on a long trip,
Not with your friends but alone,
Precisely to meet your girl friend,
To spent a few days with her.
If you didn't,
You should make a girl friend first!

Did you try,
To bet on the beers,
See who could drink most in,
And even when you won the bet,
You sat there puking all day,
Wishing you hadn't won the thing.
If you didn't,
You could probably try!

Did you try,
To enjoy this life,
The blissful years at college,
A life which will never come back,
And you'll just have memories,
Always calling you away to those days.
If you didn't,
You should start doing so immediately!

I've just a year left here,
As I look back to the days gone,
I feel so much more is to be done,
So will just live these days,
Not for the sake of it, to live,
But live, like I was born for this,
Before they come to a sudden end!

P.S. - A tribute to the three years at college. One yet to go.

Describing hurt

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 02:42

18


Walls,
Red walls,
Breathing red walls.

Nail,
Sharp nail,
Long sharp nail.

Crack,
Crack in the wall,
Crack due to the nail.

Pipe,
Weak pipe,
Short weak pipe.

Passage,
Dark passage,
Long dark passage.

Choked,
Pipe choked,
Pipe choked in the passage.

Mind,
Tired mind,
Lonely tired mind.

Heart,
Beating heart,
Slow beating heart.

Walk,
Mind goes for a walk,
Heart remains where it was.

Her last moments

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 02:33

10


She stretched her hands out,
In a wild hope they be held by me,
Trembling in an excruciating pain,
Blood dripping from her timid fingers,
Soft and small, treasured and priceless,
But she didn't get the last of my touch,
'Cause I was away, many a miles apart!

She chuntered a bunch of words,
Too weak to show her disdain,
Over me, she had all the rights on,
For at least once she missed me,
As I missed her myriad times before,
But she was devoid of me till the end,
'Cause all thought I was too weak to hear!

Her silly ears had been eavesdropping,
Frantically gathering all she could feel,
Like she felt this was it, her dooms day,
And in undying hope to hear me speak,
To call out her name with all love in me,
But her longing desires still remained so,
'Cause I knew she was still shopping!

Her eyes half closed in defeat,
At the hands of the merciless fate,
Who robbed her of all that she got,
And she lay on her bed motionless,
Regretting her unfulfilled dreams,
But that was how cruel life could be,
'Cause it never thinks about you and me?

Her sleek fair feet laid motionless,
Seemingly she could feel them no more,
As she looked at them helplessly in pain,
Not mindful of the ashes of her body remains,
Or of today when she could still be there for me,
But of the days which could never be again,
'Cause her end was what she was staring!

Her thoughts might not be cursing me,
The love was too much to turn to hate,
Yet I knew I was the one at fault for this,
When I was there wherever she wanted to be,
Only today that I couldn't be there by her side,
But how on earth could I think of being there,
'Cause the other side of her world I reside!

Her heart rushed ahead in pain,
Racing against itself, away from time,
Beating random for the few final times,
Wishing she be triumphant over death,
And relive like that day didn't even matter,
But her heart gave up the fight too soon,
'Cause I never heard that beat again!

I heard she never did actually cry,
Nor did she ever say a proper good bye,
She wanted to stay here and be with us,
Guiding us through the walks of our life,
Like she had always tried to do to me,
But I wish I didn't have to barely feel her,
'Cause she is not where she wished to be!

P.S. - A tribute to the girl I lost five years ago.

Come away with me

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 16:23

6

"I'm living in obscurity,
What should I do?
Answers confuse me.
The days gone by,
The long or the lovely,
The uncertain or the witty,
Every single moment,
The bloody or the hearty,
The alert or the casual,
All keep staring at me,
Right at my stern face,
Blocking every path,
Of my possible escape.
Yes I am, I am weak,
Getting so everyday".
She heard me and said,
“Come away with me”.

"There are my duties,
Those I believe my own,
Rules I lived by all my life,
Even before I had you,
And that was all of me,
My wishes and prayers,
My help and support,
My present and future.
And getting you here,
I've a future anew,
Days I've feared dreaming,
Those which I wanna live,
Living like its my life,
I'm living for me, myself.
Isn't it hypocrisy to change?
To run away like a coward?
Like those days never were?
I'm confused my love,
I don't know what to do".
She replied calmly,
“Come away with me”.

"I have choices now,
For the first time in life,
And now I know it,
They don't make you rich,
They lure you in a fight,
Till you are torn into two.
One,
Love for my country,
For the pride I have,
Love for my people,
For the pledges I took,
Love for my mates,
For the years together,
And two,
Love for you,
Of the time spent together,
Of the kisses we shared,
Of the dreams we dreamt,
Of the promises we made,
Of this life as well as the after!
What is for me to do?
I turn to you dear".
She said once more,
“Come away with me”.

"They call me,
The chatter of the bullets,
The bang of the grenade,
The cling of the metal,
The blood soaked soil,
The flow of adrenaline,
The urge to command,
The valour I bathe in.
But you hold me down,
With meaningless curious talks,
With breath taking charms,
With scintillating smile,
With majestic beauty.
And I stare in oblivion,
Not knowing where to go".
She simply smiled and said,
“Come away with me”.

"Whom do I belong?
Where do I belong?
What should I do?
Tell me if you can,
'Cause I can't figure it,
I can't face this truth,
I'm too weak to decide,
Too coward to run away,
Too emotional to hurt,
Too egoistic to let down,
Answer me sweetheart,
Stay with me here,
Help me take a step".
She held my hand,
“Come away with me”.

"She always commanded,
I always followed,
Hate to disobey now,
As I see my heart,
Grow weak again,
Pierced by the bullet,
Two love of my life,
Both united for once,
One which makes it beat,
The other forces to stop.
As I remember the words,
The only ones I had said,
Before I left her all by herself,
Which stand null and void,
As I stare at my defeat,
Three words I meant,
“I will, promise” "!

P.S. - The inspiration is the movie, "Dear John", based on the book "Dear John" by Nicholas Sparks.

I and you

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 19:38

4


I cried,
And you planted a kiss!
I thought,
And you put that to action!
I spoke,
And you amazingly admired!
I said,
And you always believed!
I called,
And you came running!
I looked,
And you kept blushing!
I talked,
And you still kept talking!
I trusted,
And you never broke it!
I moaned,
And you always knew it!
I debated,
And you never listened!
I ordered,
And you never defied!
I hurt,
And you simply cried!
I forced,
And you never did oppose!
I kissed,
And you moved away in fun!
I touched,
And you giggled in delight!
I tickled,
And you held my hand too tight!
I wrote,
And you kept talking about the write!

I left,
And still you did not let go!
I loved,
And you too let the love flow!
 

The exams' knock

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 13:52

14


Knock, knock!
"I'm here again"!
An outburst of cries,
"Brace the door",
"Check the lock",
"Set up a table",
"Call for some help",
And pandemonium,
Rushing and cursing,
"We can't stop it,
Now can we"?
Was the only wise word!

"Could you come back later"?
A question all wanted to ask,
"No, its time, just about time,
Your good luck has run out time,
I'll wait no more, no more",
Ended with a rare horrifying laughter.

"What shall we do?
We are not even there",
"I don't know a thing",
"Count me in too",
"I'm blank, totally,
Like an empty board",
Confessed all!
"I know a little of it",
And all looked at him,
Like he was guilty,
Of a brutal murder,
Indeed, of friends' trust,
As someone put it right,
"You ought to be like us"!

Everyone looked up in horror,
Indeed it was almost time,
A twisted stare at the clock,
And all hung their heads down,
As someone went on,
The brave out of the lot,
Putting it this way,
"But we can't ignore,
Can we really do that"?
To open up the gates,
The door to misery,
And a road to death,
Imminent painful death!

One stare at the stranger,
And all dispersed,
Run where ever they could,
In ignorant belief,
It could be escaped,
Hiding in the shadows,
Of dusty unvisited corners,
Of the paper and notes' pillars!

And since then we are still,
Living and breathing,
Scampering like slaves,
Working under its order,
In hope that we be spared,
From its wrath and rage.

Pondering on,
"Why on earth does it exist?
Does it want us dead?
When will this end?
When will I never face it again?"
Answers to which are quiet,
Confusing?

P.S. - A lot many days to suffer yet.

The deathly knock

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 13:29

6


Knock knock!
He stared in deathly horror,
At the closed door behind him,
"No, this can't be it, not now,
I'm not letting you go".
He clung to her fading body,
Lying on the unmoving bed,
With her eyes drooping down,
Her life sinking into the dark waters,
Of the ever flowing life's stream.

Knock knock!
He ignored the wooden chatter,
Gazing at her closed eyes,
With tear filled eyes,
Caressing her forehead,
Withered and spotty,
Wrinkled with the tensions,
Fought valiantly all these years,
Alone, single handed,
But with a reassuring smile.

Knock knock!
He went closer to her,
Clutched her hands into his,
And prayed, she be just fine,
If only they could be answered,
And wished had he been here,
Days before like she wanted,
If only he had known this,
That he had so little time,
So few moments with her.

Knock knock!
He couldn't even hear the call,
Floating back to his past,
He stood alone watching him,
Fighting to write a word,
He saw her holding his hand,
Learning to ride a bicycle,
He saw her marking his path,
Winning the best student's award,
He saw her hugging him in pride.

Knock knock!
The stranger did not lose hope.
Knock knock!
He banged again once more.
Knock knock!
Impatience clearly he could feel.
Knock knock!
Seemed to break his fists on the door.
Knock knock!
The noise could be taken no more.

The banging on the door increased,
And suddenly in a moment fell dead,
He turned around to secure the door,
But the door was locked quiet safe,
The lightening of realization crashed,
Trembling in his fears and tears,
He got closer to her beating heart,
But where had the beat gone?
He frantically searched for her pulse,
All was, but a failure at the end!

And he hug her cold body tight,
Still in the hope that she rise back,
And scold him for being in tears,
Still in the hope to see her eyes,
Looking at him with the love she had,
Still in the hope she pat on his back,
Saying "Good you got a promotion",
Still in the hope she caress his hair,
And put him back to deep sleep,
But her hands didn't even move.

He then heard the retreating steps,
Just outside the locked door,
Two set of steps they seemed,
One unknown and ghostly,
The other made him spring up,
In unseen horror and in utter delight,
He ran to unlock the wooden flaps,
And as he came out in the open,
He did hear her steps again,
Fading slowly in the murky light!

I miss her - Day three and a half

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 19:17

9

Some things are lucky,
Aren't they?
Seems my cooler too!
I got it fixed,
The red hot air,
Turned to cool blue,
And now I rejoice,
'Cause my yesterday's dream,
It came true!
All I got was a call,
And I was gone.
First up I was stuck,
There was just silence,
I was still in a trance,
And I couldn't believe,
Finally over?
How could that be?
Waiting is fun,
Sometimes,
Though not always,
And as I yearned the voice,
I still believe,
It was worth it,
Totally!
But now all is back,
Back to me,
And back to normal,
Once more,
All the smiles,
Just too big,
All the joys,
Just too huge,
And about that love,
Its as I say,
Unlimited!


P.S. - She is back, and totally fine. And I suppose I can end this series here itself.

I miss her - Day three

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , , , | Posted on 01:00

4

The volume was turned to zero!
How on earth could I hear?
Once, twice, thrice,
That never hit me.
And finally when it did,
All I heard was,
"I'm with dad",
And then a beep!
I had my chances,
Which I couldn't seize.
Hate me for that,
Probably regretting!
I enjoyed,
The farewell,
Yes I did,
But not as much,
Not to dance my way.
I got stung,
An ignorant,
Irritated bee,
I felt the pain,
But not as much,
Not to be bothered.
And now as I scribble,
All this nonsense,
I feel myriad emotions,
Nothing as compared,
To my few joys,
Or my little ache.
Nothing without you,
Just be back,
Back to me,
My reality,
The winner,
Of my dreams,
Please!


P.S. - The verses talk of my day, as for her, I'm still in the dark.

I miss her - Day two

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , , , | Posted on 00:18

4

Yes I had heard her,
I know I've had my moments,
But this silent night is killing me!
"Habits die hard".
But why should I let it die,
When its not a habit at all?
Its a desire,
An eternal need of me,
To stay in peace,
At mind and the heart.
And its absence,
Makes me yearn for it,
More and more,
Like a drug addict,
Searching frantically,
For some repose!
And then it,
Leaves me frustrated,
Makes me sick,
Brings my cards' house,
Of voices and care,
Crashing down,
Blown into dust,
And its bits and pieces,
Flying in oblivion.
I can neither touch it,
Nor visualize it,
Just a feeling,
That somewhere,
At some corner,
Of this world,
She exists,
Yes, for me,
Just for me,
She does!


P.S. - I heard her for 10 minutes today, and from then on still dreaming about it. She is still not well actually.
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