I fell in love - 6 (Proposal revisited)

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , | Posted on 21:46

She was off to her exam,
I wished her good luck,
But there was something else,
Something else stuck!

I wanted to say some more,
Only just a few,
A feeling I can't spell out,
Feeling I had discovered anew!

I couldn't fathom my heart,
I couldn't read my mind,
Was I missing something?
That was an answer I didn't find!

Or rather I didn't want to,
'Cause all was so bloody fair,
And yet I didn't want to see,
Like I didn't even care!

I always waited for her calls,
To see the mobile flash,
And I would smile so big,
Like on my birthday bash!

I would send her a message,
And then just sit quiet,
Waiting for her to write back,
That is, if she might!

And what made me happy,
She was writing it just for me,
Meant only for me,
And that felt real lucky!

But then, someone stabbed my heart,
And pushed the dagger as far as it goes,
Stop it, Stop it, I cried out for help,
But who else knows?

I'm the one burning in this hell,
And I'm the devil too,
A devil asking for help?
That is too good to be true!

And I cursed and cursed,
I felt I would lose it,
How in the world would I confront her,
She would revolt, her every bit!

That is what I feared,
Her revolting to me,
She had moved on,
She had accepted it her destiny!

And what if I'm an idiot?
What if again I screwed up?
Even if I was sure,
Yet, what if not?

But suddenly on sixth,
Things spun out of control,
Neither my mind was in order,
Nor was my soul!

The past, present and the future,
All seemed to be pointless,
'Cause it was all due to me,
I was to be cursed for this mess!

It was time for me to realize,
Or rather accept,
She had definitely come close,
Closer than I did ever expect!

And when ever I heard her,
There was a lot that I did miss,
Like I wanted so much more,
I wanted her love, her kiss!

It was all so weird,
I lived in this fear,
To lose her again,
Afraid of calling her "dear"!

Every moment went by,
And I felt closer to her,
And even if I didn't try,
I fell more and more for her!

Her ever sweet voice,
Her strange soothing word,
Her casual laugh,
Just like a free bird!

I thought of keep living like this,
But I couldn't,
I wanted to speak my heart out to her,
And yet I didn't!

What resisting force was it?
'Cause I knew she loved me,
And yet I was afraid,
"Scared of losing thee"!

Missed you in every half hour,
No one did I miss more,
You seemed so far,
But never gone from my heart's core!

I did think of saying it,
And she did come online,
But yet I remained a git,
Still pretending everything was fine!

"Nothing is good between us",
"I'll kill you",she did say!
"Everything is good between us,
At least its us today"!

And just as she was about to go,
I stopped her there,
Don't know why I did so,
And said with a bit of fear,

"Just after seventh April,
I just wanted to say I love you,
Without going into its depth,
And now that I've gone too much deep,
I fear to say those same words,

The answer was quick and expected,

P.S. - Its the sequel to "I fell in love".

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