Worthless me!

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , , , , , | Posted on 15:20

This is the time I hate,
Breaking Dawn!
Not that I hate the light,
Or moan over fresh starts!
But I live in the fear,
The night would be back,
Again sometime later!

It was a disastrous night!
Never thought it to be so!
But it better come today,
Rather than the next May!
Glad she told,
Good I heard,
Great I understood!

Even though it was,
Like a bolt from the blue!
And that was like a shock!
I neither knew this,
Nor could have known
If it was not for today!
And just I had secrets,
So did she,
Just realizing that,
A bit too late!

But the worst part,
Is yet to come forth!
Just felt a lot worthless,
A good for nothing fellow!
Not that it was her fault,
She said what was right,
I really did have a mess,
My head not thinking straight!
She still remembers him,
And I can't help that!
She still misses him,
And yet I'm here far away,
Doing nothing,
Studying and writing!
She feels guilty,
And yet I can't,
Can't make it better!
She cries,
And I can just hear it!
Asking me one question,
Can I ever do something?
I'm living this life,
And that is all I did!
I don't blame her,
Its all about me,
I'm to fix it,
If ever I really can!
I'll try,
And that is the best I can!
No blames,
No curses,
Just simple me!

One thing was crystal clear,
Her feelings,
How she felt when I talk,
Talking things she said!
And realization is something,
A great teacher,
But the lesson was not too good!
Knowing I hurt her,
Made her cry at times,
And things I feel now!
But it just hurts,
She didn't tell me before,
It was all of a sudden,
Something I wasn't prepared,
But what could I do?
I'll still be there, where I am!

And all this was so heavy,
I could hardly bear it!
I tried to shake off,
But it won't go,
I tried to wash it,
But it was stuck.
So I smoked my way out!
Hoping to endure the curse,
Of many a people,
But its all I could do,
Never right I was,
Nor was I in this!

And now when I resume,
I can't match my words!
Things seem so simple,
Like I was just like this,
Made for complications!
So I just stop,
Stop thinking this way!
'Cause all I know is love,
Unlimited love for her,
Love I never knew existed!
I'm there,
Always there,
Standing with her,
Whether to live with her,
Or even, "Let Go",
That is all I know,
And that is all I can do!
Simply, keep loving you!

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