A recursion to infinity

Posted by Zave | Posted in , , | Posted on 01:54

I miss those days.
When I was a kid.
When all of this mattered,
Mattered even more!

The days coming to an end,
When I start to miss the days gone,
Living in the believe these would come again!
But I don't now,
Its the feeling,
The feeling of enjoying,
Every passing moment,
Every small detail,
The looks of the muddy idol,
The sense of its style,
The attitude hidden within it,
The feeling of oneness,
That is what I've lost now!

I'm sitting alone,
Along with my ever friend,
My intelligent partner,
And I think I'm happy!
My happiness is so limited,
So unreal,
So materialistic,
So pathetic,
That I'm ashamed,
Ashamed of being me!
Knowing its wrong,
But not set this right,
I realize it,
I'm made to realize it,
And yet I love to live,
Live this way,
Like I can't be better,
Still searching,
Searching what I lost,
Doubting if I ever had that.

I'm scared!
I'm scared to death!
I'm scared of thinking,
Thinking too deep,
If I can't ever fathom this space,
If everything remain a mystery,
I fear failure,
I fear losing my believes,
Losing the only thing that I have,
The false impression of living happily!

I see myself in frames,
I walk in frames,
I talk in frames,
I think in frames,
I feel in frames,
Frames and frames!
That is all left in me,
Or rather that is all I know,
'Cause I never tried otherwise!
I can't feel the truth,
I see myself in a glass frame,
Trapped in a recursion to infinity,
I just seem to feel people,
People laughing at me,
People trying to pull into the real world,
I try to break out,
I do that too!
And then I realize,
The futility of my hard work,
It was all an illusion,
I'm still there,
Still a recursion to infinity!
Still trying to break through,
Still living in infinity!
Still searching for my existence!

This seems simple-
I live in this world,
The world is in the earth,
The earth is in the galaxy,
But where is all this in?
I've ever learnt to think no one can be complete,
And that is what I try to do,
Search the ultimate soul,
But where does He come from?
Who holds the string above Him?
And then who is above Him?
And again it starts,
From where it all began,
A recursion still,
But now even infinity is missing!
Where is infinity itself?
Where do I find it?
Why can't I realize?
Why do I live?
Why do I think it this way?
Why do I want to live?
Why?
Questions remain unanswered!

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