The shot was fired,
The hit was confirmed,
The shooter was tired!
To her I seemed a grotesque creature,
A creature which is heartless,
Or if it does have a leaden heart,
Its nearly impossible to access!
But I did have a heart,
A heart which broke days ago!
When I left behind some luxuries,
Love, that is what I did forgo!
Mere infatuation, is what I thought,
That could never compare to love's height!
Yet, I had a void inside me,
That even I couldn't hope to fight!
I cursed myself for being the devil,
What right had I to break her heart?
Why at all did I play such a game?
Why did I meet and then moved apart?
Was it not best I had said no before?
Why to make someone dream?
Why did I have little love?
Why did I have to ream?
One after the other like some ghost,
They were coming back to me,
Haunting me day and night,
Like I had choose this destiny!
Once which seemed to be noble,
Now looked like a deadly mistake!
Once which seemed to be the truth,
Now appeared a complete fake!
Truth or destiny didn't matter to her,
All she knew was love till infinity!
As she stood there, ready to give it all,
I seemed to be bound by destiny!
Tears had become her best friends,
She wanted me so much,
Wanted me in her life,
Yet I was the only one out of touch!
She dreamt of the two days' love,
Reading my messages again,
No matter how hard she tried not to,
She could smell love even in that pain!
She tried to convince her heart,
"Everything is for the best of me"!
And I could only bring in some trouble,
For we were never meant to be!
But she didn't care,
Problems are to come and go,
And even if I bring in disaster,
Let it be so!
"Why would he love me?
What is there in me?
I fell in love with a reason!
For him what can it be?"
The world looked so unreal!
Crying every waking hour,
She now believed in sorrow,
Happiness seemed a bit too far!
She reasoned, "If I can love him,
It shouldn't be, if he loves me,
I'll just keep loving him,
And leave the rest to destiny!"
But every minute she was aware,
How much she wanted me,
And be 'the one' of my life,
She wanted to be my destiny!
She tried to find,
If I was even thinking about her,
But no hints did I leave for her,
Only my deadly silence did she incur!
And as days passed by,
I felt it more and more,
A deep void within me,
From my heart's rim to its core!
My life had become a question,
And questions were all I could see,
Blinding anything else,
Was its answer, it was 'she'!
But I couldn't simply go back,
And hurt her again,
I hoped she had moved on,
She was done with the pain!
So I killed my desires,
Slaughtered every bit of it,
And was living on,
Trying to make this a habit!
Believing I had lost her forever,
Someone who could be my life!
Now its just like some dream,
As I march again to the tune of the fife!
Special thanks to 'Lily' for her wonderful and useful feedbacks. It would have been difficult writing this without her.
P.S. - Its the sequel to "I fell in love".